Consequences
by pitstruckin
Summary: Everything through 606 is the same as on-screen. In this fic, there was no fake pregnancy or miscarriage. Tara is in fact pregnant with Baby Teller #3. Despite Jax's reassurances, Tara does in fact get convicted for her role in Pamela Toric's murder. Her life will never be the same. Where do they go from here? Can their love survive the guilt?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is not the fic I promised when I concluded Beginnings. This is a completely different fic that I couldn't get out of my head, lol. As most of you know, I am big on sticking to the characters history and timeline. So everything through 606 is the same as on-screen. In this fic, there was no fake pregnancy or miscarriage. Tara is in fact pregnant with Baby Teller #3. Despite Jax's reassurances, Tara is in fact convicted for her role in the Pamela Toric murder. This fic shows an esteemed doctor losing her career and a big part of her life. Can the Jax and Tara love survive? Is there any coming back from the loss and guilt to find their way through this mess?** **It promises to be angsty folks. Hope you enjoy! AS ALWAYS SUTTER OWNS THESE AWESOME CHARACTERS, I'M JUST PLAYING AROUND WITH THEM A BIT ;)**

**August 2013**

"Dr. Tara Knowles-Teller, you are hereby sentenced to be remanded to the Stockton County Department of Corrections for women for a period of six years."

The words ran on continuous play in the young woman's mind as there was hardly anything else to think about inside this place. She pushes the thoughts of Jax's tortured shout of "NO!" that followed the verdict. Tara must file that into the "do not think about if possible" part of her brain. She had her precious boys filed there as well but it was useless. She couldn't _not_ think of them. This was all of her worst fears playing out like a heartbreaking tragedy. This was exactly why she left Charming all those years ago. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she'd eventually end up here. It was the price of having an outlaw for a soulmate. If it wouldn't be a sign of weakness, she'd give in to the sobs that were constantly threatening to escape.

"Doc!" The prison guard broke her from her thoughts. She cringed at the name, they all called her doc around here. They loved to rub it in the fact that an esteemed doctor was now a convicted felon. "You have visitors." Unlocking the cell door and waiting for her to put her hands in front of her, the guard mutters, "Again," as she places the metal cuffs around her wrists. She stands there stoically as the guard pats her down for any contraband or smuggled goods. Visitors implied more than one, letting her know that it was her husband along with her boys. If it was just Jax, she would be inclined to deny the visit. Her husband had her scheme figured out though so he rarely attempted to come alone now. Walking down the cold, impersonal corridor Tara tries to find peace in Lowen's confidence. She swore that it was good news to be guilty of the accomplice to murder charge versus the conspiracy to commit murder charge. She said it was less jail time and an earlier possibility of parole. But looking at the bland gray walls, Tara finds it hard to find any peace or comfort but that all changes at the sound of another name someone is calling her.

This someone has an excited voice and Tara can't help but smile at Abel's jubilant, "MOMMY!" In her excitement, she almost forgets to wait for the cuffs to be removed and her smile lessens. Automatically, she meets Jax's gaze and realizes he noticed her fumble as well, thankfully Abel did not and Tara soon finds her arms full of her very excited, newly-turned five year old.

"Hi, baby!" She smiles as she inhales his scent. "Someone have ice cream already this morning?" She glances at the clock to check the time. It didn't make sense, even though clocks weren't housed in the cells, she was well aware of when visiting hours were. Every Wednesday and Saturday 10AM-11AM.

"Chucky." Jax shrugs, almost in an apology as he stands. With both boys between them, he's only able to give her a side hug and he has to tamper down his anger at the fact that he can't even touch his wife the way he wants to. At least that is what he's blaming the anger on and not the fact that she didn't lean into his side hug or attempt to embrace him at all.

Tara sits Abel down on the bench and reaches for Thomas. "Hello, baby." She whispers with a kiss to his head. Jax takes a seat when he realizes that his wife has no intention of making physical contact with him at all and she soon follows suit, sitting across from him.

"Are you okay in here?" He whispers huskily.

It takes an effort not to roll her eyes. This is the same conversation they have weekly. "I'm fine." She takes a deep breath but doesn't meet his gaze as she prepares for his next question.

"And the baby?" She finally looks at him but he's looking at her stomach and the tiny bump he can probably make out beneath her orange uniform.

"Fine, too, I think." She tries to smile, for the boys if not anything else.

"Are you sure?" He pushes. Usually, he doesn't push so she's a bit taken aback.

"Prenatal care in here sucks." She replies, honesty making the words clipped. "But I have no reason to think anything other than the baby is ok."

Finally they are looking at each other and the storm is brewing between icy blue orbs and olive green orbs. There was a time when they could have an entire conversation with no words, just their eyes. Now, those very orbs hide so much pain and lies behind them that it would take forever to figure it out. And forever is a luxury they no longer have.

"Look mommy!" Abel breaks the tension. "I colored this for you!" He colored the picture of a t-rex when they left last week and hasn't stopped talking about how he was saving it for mommy since.

"Thank you." She kisses the top of his head and pulls him close. "I love it and I love you." Jax's heart breaks as his son basks in his mother's love. Tara clears her throat and looking over Abel's head softly asks Jax, "I thought we decided you wouldn't keep bringing them here?"

"We didn't decide." He clears his throat and leans across the table into her a bit. "You suggested. I disagreed." He takes a deep breath. "They need to see you, Tara." And you need to see them, he wants to add.

"They shouldn't be here. In this place." She sighs and like clockwork, alarms start going off and a lockdown is issued. "Shit!" She groans, expecting her visit to come to an abrupt halt. "This is my point," she shrugs, "this is no place for them to be."

Jax watches as three guards share words and then one takes off, leaving two to secure the visiting area. He looks around and notes the panic visible on the other visitor's faces. "How often do you go on lockdown?" He asks.

"What?" She leans across, trying to hear him, but she swears the alarms are getting louder. Abel covers his ears and scoots as close as possible to his mother while Thomas starts screaming. She can't help but absorb his anxiety. Unfortunately for the boys, they were stuck here too. She tries to calm both boys as best as possible and feels like a failure more and more with each wail Thomas lets out. Abel, her sweet boy, calms in her embrace. "I'm so sorry babies." She sniffles but refuses to give into the tears. As the alarms quiet, so does Thomas and both parents are thankful.

"I'm trying to get you out of here, Tara." His voice is full of emotion.

"You can't." She has to swallow the lump in her throat that is a result of his thick voice. "The best I can hope for is probation in a few years. That's not fair to you or the boys." Christ, she felt like this conversation was always the same. And why the hell were her boys still in Charming? Everything she had done was to secure their freedom from the poisonous town in the event of her arrest. She decides to feel Jax out a bit, "School is starting soon. Have you gotten anything in the mail from Pilgrim Grove?"

"Uh….no, not anything I've seen." He admits, obviously mentally thinking of the mail he's looked at. "I've been kind of busy, babe." He admits sheepishly.

"Well, I already paid the deposit." She huffs. "I want Abel to go there. You agreed." She gives into the memory a bit.

_Jax had come home that evening and saw her looking through all sorts of booklets at the kitchen table. "What's this, babe?" He asks, dropping a kiss to her neck. _

"_Kindergarten curriculum and stuff. I had no idea it was such a big deal." She smiles up at him in exasperation. "There are so many options. I don't want to screw this up. I mean this is our son's education. And do you know some of these places have a wait list and require deposits?" _

"_Seriously?" He asks, looking in the microwave and is excited to see that she saved him a plate for dinner. "It's kindergarten! Seems kinda ridiculous to me." _

"_I thought so too at first." She grins as he heats up his plate and she starts making piles for the paperwork so there is room for him to sit with his plate. "But times are changing. All this technology and stuff, completely different from when we were growing up." _

"_Somethings maybe." He grins, when the microwave beeps and he pulls out a can of soda before sitting across from her. "Bet you our boy comes home with his first crush the first week of school." _

"_Ugh, really Jax?" She tries in vain to roll her eyes in disgust. "He's still my baby."_

"_He's my boy, isn't he?" The smirk he gives is full of youth. "I'm telling you, babe. Watch." _

"_I have something you can tell me." She grins, knowing his mind will take him someplace naughty. "I've narrowed the choice down to these two." She pushes two piles of paperwork his way and he groans. "Help me pick which one." _

"_You gonna help me out with something in the bedroom when we're done?" There is definitely a plea in that question. _

"_Maybe." She replies saucily but the foot she runs up his leg is a dead giveaway. Jackson Teller will have his way with his wife as soon as they settle on a school for their oldest son. _

"I did agree, babe." Jax tries to smile. He honestly did forget. His days are spent trying to juggle everything and everyone within his family and his club. Every waking minute he is trying to come up with something to get her out of this hellhole. "I'll figure it out. Abel will start school with the rest of the kids."

It wasn't really what she wanted to hear. She didn't want her boys near Charming at all but if they had to be there, she wanted Abel to be exposed to options other than SAMCRO as soon as possible. "I can't believe they haven't mailed anything." She notes. "Has your mom been going through our mail?" Gemma definitely wouldn't be happy with their choice of education for Abel.

He takes an uncomfortable deep breath as Thomas tugs on Tara's hair. Shit between his mom and his wife was tense to say the least. "Possibly." He admits. "I'll get everything figured out. I promise."

You promised me I wouldn't go to jail too and look where I am, the words are on the tip of her tongue. It takes everything in her not to throw them in his face. Suddenly Abel looks up from his new drawing, "Maybe Wendy has your mail mommy."

"Wendy?" The stiffness in her posture and the change in breathing is noticeable to Jax a mile away. "Why would Wendy have our mail?"

Tara's icy glare meets his dead on and he is confused. Wasn't Wendy what she wanted? "She's been watching the boys, helping Gemma."

"Helping Gemma?" Tara squeezes the top of her nose, trying to tamp down her anger in the presence of her children. "The whole point of Wendy being near them was so Grandma wasn't." She bites out the words through clenched teeth.

"What?" He sighs in frustration, nothing he did anymore was the right thing. "I thought that was the whole point of all that guardianship shit you had going on? If something happened I thought you wanted Wendy to step up and help out?" Otherwise, that pathetic junkie wouldn't be near his kids. He was just trying to fulfill Tara's wishes, do something for her when he felt so useless otherwise.

The anger and frustration that rises in her makes her want to destroy something. She can just envision these two running her house like they own it, running her family, wait…was Wendy running her husband too? If not now, how long before she was? The small alarm sounds letting them know visiting hour is over in five minutes. "Tell Lowen I need to see her." She tells her husband. "Now."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Tara, I hear you." Lowen says in the attorney/client room of the jail. "But you need to calm down."

"Calm down?" Perhaps she would be calmer if Lowen hadn't waited 24 hours before coming. What part of "now" had Lowen or Jax confused? "What the hell is Wendy doing?"

"I'm not sure." The lawyer admits. "When I saw her at Lumpy's last week, I asked her and she said that she didn't want to take the boys from Gemma or Jax."

"It's not about Jax." Tara sighs. "So, what suddenly all her bitching about me getting the boys out means nothing? All the shit she's written about Gemma and SAMCRO doesn't mean anything?"

"Her written testimony won't mean too much is she disputes it." Lowen replies sadly. "She can just claim that you coerced her or that she wrote it in anger and it isn't true…anything like that."

"I didn't coerce shit!" A sob releases. "My boys are going to get sucked into this hell. I know it." A tear escapes. "If they even make it out alive." She remembers the clubhouse exploding and Jax narrowly making it out with Abel. She was livid, her anger at Gemma, Wendy, SAMCRO, and Jax tangible but most of all she was angry at herself. Her love for Jackson Teller made her weak. Once she found out that she was in fact carrying their child, she could no longer go through with her plans of a fake miscarriage. She couldn't bring herself to rat out the crimes of Jax and the club to the DA. No, the reason Tara Knowles-Teller was behind bars and her boys were getting sucked into SAMCRO was on her and her love for Jax. She vowed to herself to never make that mistake again. If by some miracle, she ever had another opportunity presented to save her boys she would take it, no matter who was hurt in the crossfire. "Do you still have the written testimony Wendy gave you?"

"Of course." Her attorney assures her. "It's in your case file. But like I said…it's useless without her backing it up."

"I understand." The mentally exhausted mother nods. "You should make a few copies. Store them in various safe locations. You know, just in case."

"Oooookay." Lowen hesitantly asks, "What about your testimony?"

"Shred it." Tara replies with an empty look in her eyes. "And then burn it."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Again, I don't own these complex characters. Sutter does. Rated M for language. **

**CHAPTER 2**

"What the hell are you doing, Jackson?" Gemma asks as she walks through his front door and looks at paperwork and mail sprawled all over the counters and kitchen table.

"Have you seen anything from Pilgrim Grove come in the mail?" He asks without sparing her a glance. He would be visiting Stockton in two days and knows he better have some information regarding this.

"Pilgrim Grove?" She questions, her voice just an octave above normal. In fact, most wouldn't even hear the change.

"The school Tara and I are sending Abel to." He raises his knowing blue eyes to her brown.

"No….I haven't seen anything." Gemma starts piling the assorted mail. "But I can just take him down to the elementary school and get the required forms. No big deal."

"It is a big deal." He huffs as Abel comes running from his room with his giant giraffe. "What's up, monster?"

"Can we take giraffe to see mommy?" Abel smiles. "He misses her too."

Jax takes a deep breath as he prepares to answer his son. But Gemma speaks first, "No, baby, giraffes aren't allowed."

"But he's not a _realllll_ giraffe." Abel rolls his eyes. "Please, daddy!" Abel tugs on his father's flannel.

"I'm sorry, monster." The worn out father kneels to his son's level. "I bet mommy misses him too. But they won't let real _or_ fake giraffes visit." He ruffles Abel's hair. "How about we draw her a picture instead?"

"Fine!" Abel pouts, climbing into a chair.

"No need for an attitude, little man." Gemma states firmly as she ruffles her oldest grandson's hair.

"He's fine." Jax corrects. How in the hell did she expect the five year old to act? Jax was a grown man and wanted to go around throwing objects and killing people until his wife came back to him. "We already reserved Abel's spot with a non-refundable deposit to Pilgrim Grove." He brings the conversation back where it was. "Tara has already met with one of his teachers." Briefly, he recalls that she liked the woman.

"Fine!" The matriarch sounds astonishingly like her grandson in that moment. "I'll have Wendy stop by there and see what needs to be done."

"No, one of us can handle it." The MC President corrects. Wendy was helping out, fine. But she damn sure wouldn't be assuming Tara's role in Abel's life, not while there was a breath of life in him. He made a promise to Tara. Abel will never call another woman mommy. He's failed his wife many times and reneged on so many promises but he will never fail her on this, he vows. "Keep Wendy close." He leaves no room for argument as he puts his kutte on. "Make sure she isn't alone with them." He kisses Abel on the forehead. "See you tonight! Be good for grandma and help with Tommy." Abel does not reply.

"I will, baby." Gemma hugs her son at the door. "You should be proud of her, Wendy is really stepping up."

Jax rolls his eyes, he knows how that shit goes. Good only lasts temporarily with Wendy, until the next shit storm comes. "Tara is Abel's mother." Jax whispers as he kisses him mother on the cheek. "It's best that_ no one_ forgets that."

Gemma knows that she had to cater to her son's plans for now. He was talking a good game a month or so into Tara's sentence. However, months would turn into years and she had no doubt her son was not up for that. He would need someone and Tara would never be able to live with that.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Her hand was fucked, permanently, she was sure. Tara laughed, not that it mattered. Her career was over, all that schooling, hard work, heartbreak, sleepless nights….gone. And for what? She had to acknowledge that even being able to save one life, especially her precious Abel, was more than worth everything she had gone through. If that was the only thing, her one accomplishment in life, than it was all worth it.

Oh God, Abel and Thomas. She was so used to being alone. The quiet was always like a balm for her, familiar and welcomed. She knew she'd miss them, all of them, even her husband and their fractured marriage. Hell, she was the one who pushed Jax to stop bringing the boys. He refused to listen to her of course. Tara had her doubts though about his reasoning. Jax claimed the boys needed to see her, and on some level she knew that he was being truthful. However, she knows her husband, knows him to his core, and bringing the boys was his surefire way to see her for himself.

Having her visiting privileges revoked for thirty days shouldn't hurt this bad. But it did. She missed her boys, all of them. That pain in her right hand paled in comparison to her heartache.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Melinda enjoyed her position with Rosen and Associates. It was what she considered a "gravy" job, basically answering phones and taking messages with the occasional filing thrown in, all for a comfortable $12/hour plus a sweet benefit package. It allowed her a lot of time to play on Facebook, tweet, and text…as she was currently doing. Charming was a small town, so even though Rosen and his associates primarily handled criminal defense, Melinda was rarely ever uncomfortable or shocked. That was, until a crazed Jackson Teller, with two small children, stormed into the office. He wasn't wearing the kutte that he was famous for in the quaint town but he looked more intimidating that she could ever remember seeing him. "Where's Lowen?" He demands, carrying the youngest boy and holding the hand of a miniature replica of himself.

"A…away on business, Mr. Teller." Melinda stutters, dear God, even angry those eyes had the power to make her think about dropping to her knees right here. Holy hell! What kind of a person has these thoughts in front of children? "I can certainly tell her you dropped by when she checks in later today."

He has to take a controlled breath and remind himself that his children are with him and do not need see any behavior that will warrant an arrest. "Where's Rosen?" He demands, never responding to the receptionists offer.

"Oh….well he's in a meeting." Her eyes involuntarily move to her boss' closed door. "He should actually be…" What in the hell was this man doing? "Mr. Teller!?" Melinda shrieks, moving from behind her desk and chasing the handsome, angry man.

Not waiting another second longer, Jax takes his boys and storms into Rosen's office. "They aren't allowing visitors." He states, throwing open the door.

"What in the hell?" Rosen demands in shock.

"Tara!" Perhaps if Jax gave a shit, he could take in the stunned client in the lawyer's office however, he truly does not care. "You need to get your ass over to county, right now and figure this shit out…."

"I'm with a client, Teller." Rosen has finally recovered from his shock. "In case, Melinda did not inform you." Jax notes the harshness in the boss' eyes as the client stand. "Please, sit down. Mr. Teller is going to _wait_ in the _waiting room_ while we finish our appointment."

Like hell he was, "This can't wait."

"Charles, it is no problem." Jacob Hale chuckles. "We'll discuss this another time. Over lunch, perhaps?" Seeing that the interrupted client was Hale, made Jax feel even less guilt over bothering the two men. "Teller, give Tara my best."

It was a testament to just how he has matured over the years that Jax didn't ram his first into Hale's face. Ugh, those damn Hale's, at least David always cared about Tara, Jacob only cares about himself. The man was fine for getting the things like property and permits needed for business but other than that, Jax had no use for him.

"Now that you've officially ran off my client, what do you want Jax?" Rosen asks, sitting down.

Jax sits down with Thomas on his lap. "I want you to go to county and see Tara, figure out what the hell is going on." He tries to sound calm but isn't sure he's successful. A thought enters his head for the first time since leaving county that perhaps he shouldn't have brought the boys with him.

"Melinda, maybe now would be a good time for you to do your job." The exasperated lawyer sighs. "Can you take the boys and give them some coloring sheets or something?"

"Uh…yes, sure thing sir." The meek receptionist is clearly flustered as she makes her way from the door over to Jax with her arms out to pick up Thomas.

"I'll be right out Abel." Jax watches his sons over his shoulder until the door is closed. "Don't be mad at her." He smirks as he meets the other man's eyes. "She tried to stop me."

"Ally is handling Tara's case." Rosen reminds the MC President.

"I know but isn't that the benefit of a partnership?" No longer caring if he comes off as desperate, he asks, "Can't you get in to see Tara too?"

"Yes." Knowing Jax most of his life left Rosen with the knowledge that he at the very least had to hear the man out. At the most, and let's be honest, the most would be required here, he'd have to handle the situation. "What exactly is going on?"

"The boys and I went to see Tara this morning, like we do every Saturday." He rubs his face in irritation and tugs at his beard, trying not to think of how his wife loved to play with it. "They said she's on restriction for thirty days."

"She was probably involved in a fight or something." He wasn't sure why he needed to spell this out for the convicted felon himself. "Jax, you know how it is in there." The professional inside him tries hard to ignore the anguish that takes over the other man's face. "These things are going to happen. Last I heard…."

"I know what happens." The way he has to clear his throat belittles the threatening look in his eyes just a bit. "I know exactly what happens in there. That's why I need to get her out of there. I'm trying everything I can possibly come up with but all my angles are coming up empty. I just….I need to know she's okay, for now….that's what I need."

"Ok…" Everyone in town, whether you knew one of the two of them personally or not, knows the "love story" of Jax and Tara, "Tara can handle her own though, Jax." Her cat-fighting, teenage years were kind of notorious.

"I know she can." The husband quickly acknowledges. His wife sure as shit could hold her own, one on one. He worries about all the other things, unfair fights and corrupt guards. "But she's pregnant and probably not on top of her game." He knew his girl would worry about their baby over herself and while he loved that about her, given the situation she was in, it made him worry even more.

"I'll drop by tomorrow-"

"NO! Not tomorrow." What was so hard to fucking understand? "Today. Now."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

2 weeks later…..

Letter after letter, the words just came pouring out of her soul. She writes of how her broken-heart is so bitter, so angry. How could the one person who has vowed to always love her, protect her, fail her now? How was it that he chose this life time and time again over her and their boys? She thinks she may hate him in these moments. Then the guilt comes because Tara knows with every fiber of her being that he loves her. That in his mind his family is the most important thing, which he is always trying to protect her, their boys, his brothers. There is no distinction in Jax's mind, they all hold the utmost importance to him. This life was thrust upon him at the hands of his parents before he could even form an independent thought. She knows she will never be able to hate him. But will she ever be able to forgive him?

Even stuck in this cell, with no connection to the outside world, she can feel his pain, his desperation. She isn't a fool, she knows that the disconnect, the pain, and the desperation will send him into the arms of another woman. He's always needed contact in a way she never understood until now, until she was forced to be cut off from it. She'd give anything to sit across from him and not know what to say now.

Her boys. Her heart aches to see them, touch them, and smell them. She meant everything she told Jax. This was not how she wants the boys to remember her, to see her like this. JT did a six year bid when Jax was young. Gemma brought Jax to every visiting day. That's what you do in this life apparently. It was what she did when Jax was inside for fourteen months. It worked for them though, they needed that family connection. It's easy for Tara to acknowledge that the weekly visits alone and the weekly visits with the kids helped her stay connected to Jax in a way that she desperately missed at the time. Fourteen months seemed like a piece of cake compared to six years. Oh God, what if she serves every minute of that sentence?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He is used to each day bringing a measure of fear. It is how things have been most of his adult life, certainly after Tara left Charming and he thrust himself fully into the MC world. Not that he wasn't before but after losing Tara, Jax no longer had that cautiousness about him. It is what made him such a fearless Vice President and now President. When Tara came back, she both increased and alleviated his fears. She increased them tenfold because she was definitely his weakness, adversaries would know how to break him now. He lived without her for eleven years in a haze of pussy and partying that he now knew he couldn't go back to. But Tara always healed the bad shit. She was able to take away every pain, every fear that he's ever known. When Rosen stops by the Scoops unannounced, Jax hates the instantaneous fear that grips his chest. "What's wrong?" He demands, leaving Bobby at the counter with the paperwork they were going over.

"Heading over to see Tara and just wanted you to know that I filed the motion for Ally." Rosen assures his client.

"Motion for what?" His curiosity is piqued.

"Uh…I assumed since it was drawn up that Ally or Tara mentioned it…." The three piece suit hesitates.

Tara doesn't tell him shit anymore. But Jax wasn't about to admit that to anyone. "Lowen hasn't told me anything about a motion or paperwork."

"Probably because it is a long shot and she didn't want you to get your hopes up." Rosen shrugs. "Shit, Tara might not even know then. I'll fill her in, see where her head is with it."

His frustrated growl comes just before he asks, "With what?"

"Stockton runs a special ward for expectant mothers." At Jax's confused look, Rosen continues, "They get special privileges, can keep the baby with them for up to eighteen months. It's still prison and it still sucks but it is better than gen pop. You'd get two visits a week, two hours at a time, big play area to bring the boys and such."

It sounded amazing to Jax. "Why didn't anyone mention this before?" He was willing to bet that they wouldn't have to deal with lockdowns and restrictions in this "special" ward.

"Like I said, it's a long shot." The lawyer shrugs again. "Only non-violent offenders are approved. And the motion is usually filed at sentencing or at the very least put on record."

"Tara's not violent."

"She can be." Rosen gives Jax a you-must-be-shitting-me smirk. "The felony speaks for itself, Jax."

"If it's such a long shot why is Lowen bothering?" There had to be some way to make this happen.

"Not sure." He admits. "I'll ask her later when we conference call." Ally has been expanding the practice up north a bit, so much in fact that they are considering opening up a firm there as well.

"How many people weigh into this decision?" The wheels are already turning in his head of how he can make this happen. He failed Tara with her trial. He will NOT fail her again.

"Whatever you're thinking, DON'T!" Rosen warns. "It backfires and Tara pays the price." He looks at his watch. "And speaking of Tara….I need to go."

"Wait!" Jax pulls a burner phone from his pocket. "Take this, have Tara call me."

"Tara doesn't strike me as the hides-shit-in-her-body-cavity-type." The lawyers face crunches up.

He can't help it, Jax lets out a laugh. "She's not. But you can get it in the room with her, right?" Rosen gives him an incredulous look in response. "I just need to hear from her that she's okay."

"The shit I do for you, Teller." He huffs

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Babe?" His anticipation in his voice soothes her.

"Yea, it's me." Tara whispers.

"Thank God." Jax sighs with a breath that he feels like he's been holding for weeks. "What the hell happened? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

A big part of her wants to say "fuck you" and hang up. The complex fact remains that Jackson Teller still owns her soul and she can hear how insane this is making him. "Got into a fight. I'm fine. Baby too."

"Yea?" She can hear a small smile in his voice. "You sure, babe?"

"I'm sure." She ignores another smart-ass reply on the tip of her tongue. She would never send him the letters that spoke the raw honesty of her heart but she could give him this one thing. Just this one glimpse and then she would put her walls back up, Tara promises herself. "He or she is finally moving."

"Yea?" That's said with a full megawatt smile now, she's sure. "She, babe. And she's already as stubborn as mommy." His words remind her of a time a few months ago when he first told her they were having a girl. At the time he said she would be smart and beautiful, just like her.

The infirmary sent her for an ultrasound after the fight as a precaution but they weren't concerned with finding out the sex of the baby at all. She knew she wouldn't be getting another one as long as things went smoothly. "We'll see, Teller." She sighs, walls once again fully erect. "I gotta go. Kiss the boys for me. And tell Abel to keep the pictures coming."

* * *

><p>[Ma1]<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:I apologize for the long wait! First, my muse was working on my yet to be posted fic (that I mentioned at the end of Beginnings). Second, I was having WiFi issues (That struggle was real. What did we do before WiFi? LOL). I hope you enjoy. I'm posting Chapter 3 and 4 at the same time to make up for the delay, lol. See? I was working on my fics even though I couldn't post ;)  
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**Chapter 3**

He felt like a kid headed to the candy store. Finally after a long month, he was headed to see his girl. Jax thought about leaving the boys behind, selfishly he wants Tara to himself. However, they missed her and he knew she desperately missed them. To be honest, he wasn't sure she would accept a visit from him alone. Breaking from his thoughts, he looks at the boys in his rearview and smiles. The excitement is practically radiating off of Abel as it is him. "Excited to see Mommy, monster?"

"Uh-huh!" Abel smiles. "I miss Mommy this much!" He stretches his arms as wide as they go, promptly smacking his brother in the head. "Sorry, stinky monkey!" The tone in his voice tells his father he isn't too sorry.

"Me too, buddy, me too." Jax replies softly, turning off on the exit that takes him to his heart.

Her hair is longer than the last time he saw her but the bags under her eyes are new, or at the very least more pronounced. While she's waiting to get uncuffed and he's practically restraining Abel, his eyes pick up on her re-bandaged hand. "MOMMY!" Suddenly, no longer held tight enough, Abel is off like a rocket, running to his mother. "I missed you this much!"

With arms wide open Tara easily picks him up. "I missed you too." She releases a sob, unable to stop herself. "So much! Can you stop growing so fast?" She teases, although it sounds like a plea to Jax.

"Nope, I can't." The kindergartener answers seriously.

"Why not?" She asks, as she grabs Thomas from Jax.

Jax doesn't give her time to make a hasty retreat away from him, grabbing her quickly he wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her to him, whispering "I missed you, babe."

She sobs quietly as Abel continues talking. "Because I eat like a bog boy and I go to sleep and then I get bigger."

Jax gives her a kiss on top of her head and she's thankful her hair blocks her face from view as she struggles to pull herself together. "Well then I don't ever want you to stop growing." She clears her throat as she sits down with Thomas on her lap and Abel snuggled against her side. "Eating and sleeping are very important things for our bodies."

"How bad is the hand?" He asks before she can get roped into another conversation with their lively five year old.

"No worse than before." She shrugs. "It'll be fine."

Jax picks her hand up and kisses the fingers that are left exposed where the ace bandage is wrapped. "You always did pack a mean right hook," he teases.

"Shut it, Teller." She smiles at him. With his blue eyes twinkling at her and their boys between them it is almost easy to pretend that they are just a normal mom and dad living a regular life.

Reality hits her like a ton of bricks when a guard walks their way. Tara suppresses a laugh, she swears this lady reminds her of the head mistress from the movie Matilda that Ellie roped her into watching once while babysitting. "Keep the touching to a minimum, Teller." She warns sternly before walking away.

Really? What the hell is this chick's problem? He can't help it, he snickers. "She reminds me of a lady from some movie Ellie used to watch on repeat." He explains to Tara.

"I know." She laughs and nods. "Matilda." The two share a laugh as the boys look at them in confusion. Neither would have any clue of this movie otherwise. "Ellie made me watch it once when you were in jail. And she has the same personality as that lady."

That lady was a bitch! Suddenly he turns serious. "Are they….is she being mean to you in here?"

His wife looks at him incredulously. He has been to prison, he should know how it is. "No one is nice in this shithole."

"Awwww, mommy you said a baaaaaad word!" Abel gasps.

Funny, considering her son was around bikers, crow eaters, and Gemma all day long. "You're right, I did. I'm sorry, buddy."

"It's ok, Mommy." He grins and pushes his drawings towards her and Thomas reaches for Jax.

He's trying not to be a dick, nor take too much of her little time with the boys but he hasn't seen his wife in a month and he knows he has to pull information from her because she doesn't give anything up willingly. "Why didn't you mention the different ward for pregnant mothers?"

"Because it isn't going to happen." She shrugs. Leave it to him to make her feel guilty, as though she's the only one keeping secrets in their marriage. "Lowen and Rosen both pretty much said it's impossible."

"Nothing is impossible." He corrects as Thomas tugs on Tara's hair. "Shit, babe….let me help."

She notices that Abel doesn't bother correcting his father's bad word. Of course, she thinks, rolling her eyes. She winces as Jax tries to gently pull her hair from the toddler's grasp. Once he succeeds, he takes Thomas from her. "Stay out of this, please Jackson." She already has the guards picking on her for being a doctor and his old lady. She doesn't need to borrow more trouble in here. "Besides, I'm not sure how I feel about it." She admits.

"Why not?" He asks, desperate to keep the conversation going, even if it is selfish. "It sounds awesome to me."

"It sounds self-centered to me." She ah's over Abel's "amazing" artwork and promises to hang it in her "room" before she admits to him, "This baby deserves to be with his or her family out in the real world."

"You are her family too." He reminds her with a smirk, knowing how the use of the pronoun drives her crazy. "And you're going to want to breastfeed and do all the other things you did with Thomas and with Abel." He remembers how she just took on the role of Abel's mom immediately. She would get up for the nighttime feedings without him even hearing his son. He'd find her in the nursery, rocking and singing softly to the newborn. In those moments, his heart would swell impossibly bigger for the woman who loved him enough to take on a kid he had with a junkie.

"It's not fair to you or the boys." She smiles sadly as she watches their sons. "And how confusing will that be for them? Oh, mommy can't keep you in here but I can keep the new baby?"

"I say we go for it." He encourages. "We'll get through it like we do everything else. It's the best thing…you're the best thing," he reinforces, "for our daughter."

"What are you going to do when he's a boy?" She asks, trying to move on from the topic at hand.

"Love him." He smirks. "But it doesn't matter, we're having a girl." Meeting her eyes he informs her, "I know these things."

In this moment, he is every bit of the cocky boy she fell in love with at sixteen. The boy he was before the MC, or more accurately Gemma, sucked him into a life of chaos. "You don't know that." She grins, feeling lighter than she has in months. "Did you get the school stuff figured out?"

"Yes!" He grins, happy that he's making her happy. "Abel will officially start kindergarten Tuesday."

"At Pilgrim Grove?" She asks wearily.

"Yup, made sure everything was still good to go." He eases her mind. Truthfully, he handled it himself because he doubted his mother's desire to handle it. "Took Abel with me and he met one of his teachers."

"Really?" She smiles her their oldest. "What was her name?"

"Ms. Harrison." He replies instantly, making his mother happy. If he so easily remembers her name then perhaps things will go smoothly.

"Was she nice?" Tara met her already and she got a good vibe off the woman so she really hoped Abel connected with her as well.

"Uh-huh." He nods seriously. "She said she knows you."

"She does." The mother explains. "I met her when I signed you up awhile back. I liked her so I'm glad you do too." She clears her throat and asks Jax, "What did you tell her?" It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know what she's referring to.

"The truth." He replies wearily. "I didn't want to lie." His eyes go to Abel so Tara can make the connection. Jax felt it better to be honest and upfront rather than Abel blurt it out later. Besides, the trail had been mentioned in the local newspaper.

The embarrassment is clear on Tara's face. "How did that go?"

How was he supposed to respond to that? He didn't want to tell her that the lady was shocked and a bit horrified even though she hid it well. "Said she'll be understanding with our monster."

"Ah, good." She snuggles her boy a bit, determined to wallow in her own misery later, when she's alone. "Make sure you take lots of pictures for mommy." She says, eyes pointedly directed to her husband. It is easy for Tara to remember Abel's ambivalence about daycare when he started. He held onto her like she was his lifeline. She smiled patiently at the attendant but was secretly thrilled that her boy was so attached. Most doctors she dealt with had a live in nanny for their children. But not her, never her, she always wanted to raise her own family. Give all their kids what she never had as a child. "Be brave on your first day. You're going to meet a lot of new faces and see some new places. It may be scary at first but I promise you'll like it. Okay, monster?"

Jax wants to sob as he takes in the scene. Tara was always putting their family above herself. Even now, when she was in so much pain, she was worried about Abel. "Okay, mommy." Abel grins.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I can't believe I'm helping you with this." Rosen mentally cringes as he lays Tara's file on his desk. "Ally would be smart enough to tell you no."

"Guess it is a good thing she's too busy for Tara's case." Jax smirks but Rosen isn't fooled. He hears the underlying hostility.

"She presented a through case, Jax." He clarifies. "The evidence was damaging and being married to a convicted felon didn't help Tara."

Jax rakes his hand through his hair, tugging it along the way in frustration. Did everyone think he was stupid? He knows this lands on him. He wants to cripple under the guilt except that Tara would hate him more for bailing on their boys. "I'm aware of how I've failed my wife and family." He reigns in his temper. "I tried too late to help her. I'm not going to fail her now." It was just unfathomable to him that any jury would convict a doctor for Christ sake. Outside of their teenage wildness, Tara had no criminal record. Apparently, being married to him was an automatic conviction.

Damnit, he doesn't operate a family therapy office. Rosen is determined to hand this case back to Lowen as soon as possible. "Tara is the first to admit that she made her own choices." In fact, he'll take three of his partner's cases just to get rid of this one. "If this backfires, have you thought about what will happen to her?" The lawyer clears his throat. "I'm mean, you think shit is rough now…."

"It won't backfire." The husband assures him. Sure, Tara made her own choices but she went to visit Otto to get SAMCRO out from RICO. She was there because of him and his MC. This time, he was going to play it cool, do his research and find a way to make this pregnancy ward happen for his wife.

"And then what, Jax?" Rosen loosens his tie. "She does her nine, twelve, I don't know whatever they approve her for and goes back to gen pop? What does that look like?"

"I don't know!" Frustration is apparent in the yell. "But it gives me the time to think about parole."

"Parole?" Jesus Christ, this case was going to kill him. Jax in jail would be better, sure Tara drove him kind of crazy when Jax was inside but she wasn't this bad. "Is now a bad time to remind you that she probably won't get out on her first try? We're looking three years…best case."

"YES!" Jax shouts, "Now is a very bad time to do that. In fact, why don't you just give me what I need and I'll be out of your hair."

Doubtful, Rosen thinks, and with a smirk stands, "I need to grab my lunch really quick." He pushes his case file over towards Jax. "Can I get you anything?"

"No." Jax rolls his eyes and adds, "Thank you," when Rosen hits the doorway. He thanks his lucky stars when he views the motion filed first thing, smiling when he realizes it was process and then sent to a different judge than the one who sentenced Tara.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

If he didn't see her car outside, he would have been surprised to see her in his kitchen. "Hey Wendy," he greets tentively. No matter what Tara or Gemma say, he just can't get comfortable with her being near his kids or in his house. "Where's my mom?"

"Diosa, I think." Wendy smiles as Abel hugs his father in the small entryway.

Wasn't he clear that Wendy not be left alone with the boys? "No one else is here?"

Wendy tries not to let his question bother her. "Rat was but then took off after a call."

"Well I'm home for the night." Knowing it wasn't a business related call, Jax determines that heads are going to roll. "You can take off."

"Umm…did you eat?" She pulls a dish out of the microwave. "I made hamburgers."

What the fuck was this shit? Wendy didn't even cook when they were married. And Tara was the only one who made and saved him meals in the microwave. "I ate."

"Oh, okay." She sighs and then makes a big production of throwing the food in the trash. "Guess I'll see you tomorrow."

He watches as she pulls a piece of paper from the dining room table that rarely ever gets used. "Where is the easel?" Tara's easel always sat down there. It always housed the latest piece she was working on. Briefly, he hopes she can still paint when she comes home, that there isn't too much damage to her hand for that at least.

Wendy looks at him in confusion but follows his eyes to the corner by the table. "Oh, I think Gemma put it your bedroom."

He sighs heavily. Why the hell is everyone touching shit in his house? "And what are you grabbing?"

"Relax." She smiles. Walking over to him, she holds the paper up. "It's just Abel's school supply list. I'm going to go shopping before I come by in the morning."

He grabs the paper, "Gemma can do it." For a minute she looks ready to argue with him. Everything about this is grating on his nerves. Wendy is just too domestic, in his house, in his life, for Jax's comfort. "Abel, can you go check on Thomas? Daddy will be right there." He would be the first to admit that he rarely made it home before the kids were in bed. A hands on father, he was not. Now he was wondering just how much time Wendy was spending with the kids. He waits for Abel to make it into the small living room before he asks, "Is your girlfriend okay with you spending so much time here?"

The way Wendy scratches her head, let's Jax know she's uncomfortable. "Why wouldn't she be? I'm with my son."

"My son." He corrects.

"What are you saying Jax?" She huffs. "That I can't help out anymore? Tara's okay with it, so what's the big deal?"

Tara wasn't okay with it. That was the big deal. He can't pinpoint it but knows it deep down. Maybe it is the way her eyes darken at the mention of the other woman or the way she becomes stiff and quiet. "I'm just saying that maybe you being here so much is confusing things."

"Abel's fine Jax, he…."

"He's not fine!" Jax interrupts in a loud whisper. "His mother is in jail. And I meant confusing for you, not him." Wendy looks at him with big, watery eyes. "Look…just….I don't know, maybe back off a bit."

"Fine!" And the front door slams with a sound that he made often, back in their miserable life together.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

**October 2013**

"How was the pumpkin patch baby?" Tara sighs as she picks up her five year old. It was getting harder at twenty four weeks pregnant.

"Fun!" He smiles. "Can we go when you come home?" She hesitates answering him because she doesn't know when she will be home. He doesn't care and continues talking anyway, "Mommy boo-boo? Does it hurt?"

She wants to cry when he gently touches her face. The tender, concerned look in his young face is nearly her undoing. "Mommy fell but I'm okay."

"You're pregnant, Tara." Jax voice is laced with many emotions, none of them the good kind. She couldn't just be going around getting into fights in her condition. He hands Thomas to her as is their routine when she puts Abel down.

"I'm aware, Jackson." She hits him with a steely glare. "The baby's fine. It was an accident." He gives her an incredulous look. "Really." It was, she actually got hit with a punch meant for someone else. Rhonda, the chick who threw it, nearly cried when she realized Tara was the one who was hit. Apparently, Rhonda was never able to get pregnant and felt horrible for hitting a pregnant lady.

He had to get her out of here, out of gen pop at least, "Have you heard anything about the pregnancy ward?"

"Nope." She frowns when Thomas wants to go back to Jax. Her baby boy isn't attached to her anymore and it makes her heart hurt.

It doesn't go unnoticed by Jax. "He's probably just cranky. I woke him up from a nap in the truck."

Tara shrugs with a sad smile. "It's to be expected, I guess." Thomas was too young to miss her the same way Abel did. In a way she thinks that is a good thing. He's young, resilient, yet it hurts like hell.

"When should we know?" The conflicted father goes back to question at hand.

"Not sure." She sighs. "Haven't talked to Lowen or Rosen in a couple of weeks."

"Grandma has a boo-boo too." Abel interrupts.

"Oh, yeah?" Tara pretends to care. Maybe later she can envision herself giving Grandma a boo-boo.

"Yea, the mean man hit her!" Her son gasps dramatically. Jax sits up, ramrod straight as Tara gulps.

"What's he talking about?" Tara questions.

"I…I didn't know he saw anything, Tara." Jax pleads for her understanding. "I swear." He was going to kill his lying mother, provided Tara doesn't kill _him_ first. He thinks it is a distinct possibility with the glare she's sending him.

"Well clearly he did." She bites out through clenched teeth. Reason number five hundred and fifty prison visitation sucks, you can't even fight with your husband properly. "I want to know what happen. Right now." She demands.

"Some father came into Diosa. His daughter is an escort. Things got out of hand." Jax shrugs. "I took care of it."

She bets Jax took care of it. "Why is our son at Diosa?" The incredulous, anger is transparent in every word.

He stares blankly at her, knowing that any headway they've made recently was now gone. "I don't know, Tara." He whispers, waiting for her wrath, although he knows she can't give it to him the way she wants to.

"That doesn't even bother you? Our five year old is hanging out in a who…escort service?" She shakes her head on a sigh, "Of course not, it's exactly the kind of shit you were raised in." She sniffles, "Guess I'm the freak then."

"Mommy mad at me?" The innocent question breaks her heart.

"Never baby." She kisses his head and pulls him on her lap. "You didn't do anything wrong, Abel, I promise." She glares at Jax over his head. Anger at the situation, at him, and at herself for not being on the outside evident in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." He mouths.

"I don't want him back there." She tells him icily, leaving no room for interpretation, "Ever."

"He won't be." The father adamantly promises.

"Where was Wendy?" She forces herself to ask. "Isn't she just helping out so much?" Just the thought of the other woman makes her sick but at least she wouldn't have the kids at a whorehouse, right?

"Working, I guess." Jax shrugs but his gaze doesn't meet hers. "And I'm not sure where Brooke was." He adds before she can ask.

"Brooke? The girl you hired at the ice cream shop?" The concerned mother wasn't sure how she felt about that. Jax said she had mental issues and that she trashed Tig's bike. "Is she safe?"

"She's medicated." Finally relaxing, he gives a small chuckle. "I promise, I have everything under control."

"Do you?" He swears she can look directly into him and see all his lies, all his bullshit, and all his mistakes. "Do you really?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He has nothing under control and he has no idea what to do about it. Unfortunately, nothing comes to him as he sits in the alley behind Scoops smoking a joint.

"What's wrong, Jackie Boy?" Chibs sits next to him. It hasn't gone unnoticed by him or his brothers how lost the young president is. They aren't fooled, they all know why. He's crumbling under the guilt of Tara's incarceration. When Tara came back to Charming, came back to Jax, it grounded him in a way Chibs hadn't seen since she left. Having her locked away from him was taking Jax back to that place.

Inhaling the joint one last time, he hands it to the Scot. "Everything."

"How was Tara this morning?" He elbows the younger man in his ribs. "Getting big?" Maybe reminding him of the baby on the way would help.

"She's hanging in there." Unable to stop himself, he grins, "She's definitely showing." And he loves it, loves knowing she was growing their baby inside of her. It did something to him, seeing her with a piece of him inside of her. "I got to get her out of there."

"We will." Chibs finishes off the joint. "We took care of that lawyer and having her in with all the other pregnant women will give us time to think of how to handle parole." Reminding his leader of the future and planning ahead may help keep him focused.

"This stays between us and Bobby." Jax reminds him yet again. He can't trust anyone else with this, even his other brother's. It's too great a risk.

"You got it, Jackie." Chibs squeezes his shoulder. "I'm heading over to Diosa. Blow off some steam. You stopping by?"

"Yea, I think I will." Jax sighs, pushing down the nauseous feeling. "I'll meet you there, just going to swing by and make sure Gemma's okay with the boys."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jax is slightly surprised to see Lowen's sedan outside of his house when he pulls up. Usually she calls him first to see where he is, if she needs him for anything. Was Tara okay? She was fine this morning. Wouldn't County have called if something was wrong? He's too focused on what could be wrong to realize that it is Wendy's ride in the driveway and not Gemma's. For reasons he doesn't decipher, he quietly dismantles his bike, and creeps into his own house.

"What does she want?" Wendy demands. "Does she not realize how busy I am? I work full-time and help out with the kids around that. If anyone knows what that's like, it should be her."

"Excuse me?" Lowen demands incredulously. "What the hell do you think she wants, Wendy?"

"I didn't mean that the way it sounded." The recovering junkie sighs. "I just…just…."

"Just don't know how to tell her you have no intention of following through on any of your promises?" The irate lawyer demands, just as Jax walks into the dining room. These two were so lost in conversation that they didn't hear him come in. "Jax" She greets.

"Everything okay?" He asks, not sure where to start on what he's heard.

"Yea," Wendy sighs. "You see Gemma out there, yet?"

"No." At least she's coming and not leaving Wendy here all night with his kids, he supposes. "What's going on here?"

"Tara wants to see Wendy." The lawyer, who is now putting her blazer on tells Jax before the other woman can lie. "And Wendy isn't sure she can fit that into her busy schedule." Lowen rolls her eyes. "Are you going to see Tara on Wednesday?"

"I can." He hasn't been, not since she refused to see him alone, and Abel has started school. "Why, what's up?"

"Tara asked me to get something for her." She shrugs, lifting her briefcase off the table. "I'll try to have it by then for you to take to her." She was throwing Jax a bone, knowing if he had the forms Tara needed, she wouldn't refuse him.

"Thanks, Ally." Smiling, because he is on to Ally's scheme he tells her, "You drive safely." He waits for her to shut the door behind her. "Why don't you want to see Tara?" He demands from his ex-wife. Weren't they all buddy-buddy over guardianship papers and shit? Hell, he wished Tara would request to see him.

"It's not that, Jax…" She isn't sure how to answer this, without exposing Tara's plan for her to get the boys out of Charming. A plan she originally agreed with but now knew she could never go through with. "It's just complicated is all."

Who the hell did she think she was talking to? Abel? "Well, I'll un-complicate it for you….go see Tara. You can go on Wednesday before Thomas and I go." He hopes she doesn't stay too long and take up his time with his wife.

Somehow in the years that she's been gone Wendy has forgotten just how she was supposed to do exactly what he demanded, when he demanded it. She chuckles humorlessly, knowing his marriage to Tara was different, knowing she was different, "Yea, sure Jax, whatever you say." Gemma walks in and notes the tension. "Everything okay in here?"

"Yeah, Wendy was just leaving." Jax tells his mother. "And you and I need to talk."

The women share a look. Gemma is trying to get a feel for just what her son's problem is but unfortunately she can't get a read from Wendy. "Brooke's going to be here in the morning, baby." She tells Wendy, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "What's your schedule like on Monday? Can you come by in the morning?"

"Yea, that's fine." Wendy agrees easily, grabbing her purse and keys. "Boys went down easily."

Jax glares at her as she leaves. "Calm down, what did the junkie do now?" His mother teases.

"Nothing, Saint Wendy hasn't done anything." Jax sends his glare his mother's direction. "You on the other hand…."

"Before you start with whatever you think I've done now, I need to talk to you about something…" She moves around the kitchen with the ease of someone familiar with the setup and grabs a cup of mug and fills it with coffee. "Since you are hardly home at a decent time at night…." She gives her son a pointed look, "why don't the boys start staying at my house?"

"No!" He takes a deep breath. "They've been through enough changes…speaking of….you told me Abel didn't see much of what happened with that man last week."

"He didn't." She affirms, concern lacing her voice.

"Bullshit…he recounted the story for Tara today." He pushes the guilt down. Clearly, he should have spoken to his son more in-depth, taken the time to see his son was okay for himself. "I can't have this shit, Mom. I'm happy for you and Nero and you can spend all the time at Diosa you want….but the boys are not to go there."

The matriarch lets out a laugh, "She's awful demanding from behind bars, isn't she?"

"Don't put this on Tara! And don't make her sound unreasonable." He's so fed up with just about everything. Wanting to rail at her for Wendy being alone with the boys yet again, he says instead, "I'm going to kiss the boys and go handle some shit." He quietly checks on his boys and gives them a soft kiss. Coming down the hallway, he finds Gemma knitting on the couch. Seeing her in such a state, he's hit with gratitude and guilt. Guilt is apparently his number one emotion this days. "I appreciate all the help you are giving me, Mom." He sighs, sitting next to her. "I couldn't do it without you. Maybe we should get Neeta or Alita back to help out too. Use Wendy a little less."

She wants to object, he can tell, but wisely doesn't. "I know you're going through it right now, baby." She kisses his cheek. "Why don't you go handle whatever you need to and then go ride…or stop by Diosa...relax a little?

He smiles sadly in response.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey." The nerves are radiating off of Wendy as Tara approaches her. Despite the things she has done for her habit, she has yet to sit in the other woman's position.

Tara rolls her eyes as she takes in the other woman's appearance. "Let's cut the shit," she sighs. "Why are you and my boys still in Charming?"

"Listen Tara…." The blond begins.

"No, you listen….you came back to this and preaching to me how they needed to get out." Tara keeps her words low yet forceful. "Making demands and threatening legal action. I finally see the light and make it happen and you what? Bail on me?"

"It's not like that, Tara, I promise." Wendy pleads. "Things are calm again. Jax has everything handled."

Her words remind the wife of her husband's a few short days ago. Instead of the words soothing her, they ignite the flame inside. "Really? Did my husband tell you that? What else is going on while you're playing house with my family?" Shit, this escalated quickly. She promised herself that she would remain calm, cool, collected, and most importantly, in control!

"Playing house?" The humorless chuckle sends chills down her spine. "Is that your problem? You know your husband can't keep it in his pants?"

It takes every ounce of self-control for Tara not to reach across the table and choke this bitch. "My problem is that you are a stupid, weak, junkie. The minute I'm out of the picture, you are sucked back into Gemma's world and too blind to see it." A big part of Tara understands the appeal. After all, Jax and by extension Gemma and SAMCRO, quickly became Tara's family when she was a teenager. Getting to know Wendy over the years and from talking to Jax, it is clear to Tara that Wendy didn't have a traditional upbringing. She doesn't need a psych degree to see the similarities. However, unlike herself, it is apparent that Wendy doesn't have backbone.

"Wow….really?" Wendy starts to stand. "This visit is over."

"Fine by me." Tara shrugs. "Try and do me a favor and kindly make sure my sons stay out of whorehouses and brothels. They've been through enough."

Wendy isn't sure what to say to that. It was her understanding that Abel didn't see much of the incident that left marks on Gemma's face. Was that the truth? What if it wasn't? Did she really have the balls to go up against Gemma?

Jax watches as Wendy blows out of the waiting area visibly upset. "Uh-oh monkey, this might not go too good." He's thankful that a bouncing and excited Thomas doesn't attract her attention. For some reason his youngest likes the ex-junkie while Abel isn't overly thrilled with her. Soon his name is called and he rounds up his supplies and prepares to be pat down.

"Am I allowed to ask how that went?" He smirks at his frustrated wife.

"You can ask anything you want." Tara shrugs. "Doesn't mean I have to answer. But for the record, it went fine."

She was full of shit. Wendy didn't look fine and neither does Tara. "Want me to get rid of her?" He means it as a joke but the way Tara's face changes gives him pause. "Tara? Talk to me."

"I don't care what you do about the junkie." She smiles when Thomas reaches for her. It's not often she gets that response out of her youngest son. "I don't want to talk about her." It was true, she worries enough about Wendy, Jax, and the boys when she is alone. "Did Lowen send you with any papers?"

"Yes." He smiles, pulling them out of the diaper bag. "Why do you need your college transcripts, genius?" He teases. He sneaked a peek, damn his wife is smart. Not that he ever doubted that, she was a straight A student in high school without trying too hard.

"Taking some online classes." She smiles sadly.

"Really?" He lights up. "Are you that bored?" He was joking and he was happy for her. It would give her something to do and take her mind off of life on the outside until he came up with a way to get her out.

"Just planning ahead." She admits, tickling Thomas. "Not like I'll ever practice medicine again." She needed a way to earn clean money and be able to provide for her family. Because make no mistake, if she was ever given a way out, she was taking it. She would break the cycle for their boys no matter what the personal cost.

Shit, of course. Leave it to his wife to be planning and worrying about the future. "You don't have to settle for some dead end job, babe. I can keep us afloat."

"How's TM doing?" It was a low blow, knowing that business was sparse since the bombing. Hazel eyes turn olive as they meet his blue orbs, "We need legit money. Our kids deserve that." It's her subtle reminder of the life they planned for, leaving SAMCRO behind.

And just like that, there may as well as be an ocean between them versus a three foot wide table.


End file.
